The Program in Gender, Sexuality, and Women’s StudiesMariam Chamberlain was 85 when we met. I was 25, a young, curmudgeonly feminist, as my friends and I, working at various non-profit feminist organizations in New York City, described ourselves. Despite our 60-year age gap, Mariam and I became fast friends. When she got to the office – yes she still came into the office every day, taking the subway downtown from her home in Midtown – we would sit and chat. I would troubleshoot her computer questions and help her find what young feminists were doing on the new online platform called “blogs.” She would tell me stories about this feminist and the other; scholars and activists I had only read in grad school, but whom Mariam counted as friends.
With age difference often comes power imbalance, but I never felt this with Mariam. Not only was she sure to invite the younger staff members in our office to a gala or research symposium that we were otherwise unable to afford (remember, we worked at non-profits!), but she asked, and genuinely listened to, what we had to say. Mariam’s sincerity made younger feminists like myself feel heard, and she showed up for us whenever presented with the opportunity to do so.
Mariam’s and my friendship was a model of what intergenerational relationships can – and should – be. The world lost Mariam five years ago, but I feel her presence in my life every day. On the eve of her hundredth birthday, I find myself reflecting on intergenerational friendship, rededicating myself to seek and cultivate relationships with current and former students, as well as to maintain relationships with those from different generations who have mentored me along the way.
